The Itty Bitty Shitty Titty Blog

 I am finding it difficult to concentrate on the things that are most important. Christmas is my favorite time of year. Unoriginal, I know, but there it is.  I am a great hold out for the belief in Santa Clause. While I may concede that a jolly fat man in a red suit doesn't visit each and every child's house around the globe every December the 24th. I still believe that it's possible AND that there is such a being.  He may not physically live at the North Pole or surround himself with an army of elves. But St Nicholas was real and his spirit somehow fills the world with hope and generosity and good will - and if that's not a miracle I don't know what is.   There is so much to love about this time of year.  The lights. the food, the traditions, the stories, the music, the pageants, the fun. I want to shower my kids with the magic and fun! But I just don't have the energy. I can't keep the kitchen clean enough to make cookies,. This stupid lingering cough had...

 So I have no idea what the odds are for this to happen but they have to be pretty slim. Somehow, my mother-in-law and I made appointments at the same time in the same medical office.  Both of our names begin with La and of course we have the same last name.  So when Lana arrived (about 20 mins after me) she was asked "oh you have 2 appts today?"  She was confused for a moment but the receptionist quickly discovered her mistake. We had a good laugh over it and when we walked out of the elevator together there was Ray waiting for her and I said "two for the price of one!" 

 Prepare yourself, this is not going to be pleasant.  I'm tired. Not the kind of tired that follows a rigorous workout, although it is accompanied by various aches and soreness. And it is NOT the kind of tired that comes with accomplishment like climbing a mountain.  It's a wearisome kind of tired - a cold tired - like out of a Dickins novel.   My hair is coming out in fistfuls. This is accompanied by a burning itchy scalp.  My whole life I ahve been blessed with thick beautiful hair and I was the last of my siblings to have any gray hair! I cut it short before starting chemo in the hopes of sparing out shower drains and vacuum filters the added stress but even the short hair coming off my head in fistfuls is unnerving.  Encouraging voices meant to empower me tell me buzz it and get it over with - that is so much harder than it sounds. The diarrhea and the discomfort that comes with it is - NO FUN! There are days when my stomach feels like an ever chur...

 Our Thanksgiving was FANTASTIC!!  Matt made three huge trays of his famous sausage stuffing, plus a ham. And I made peanut butter brownies and mint brownies.  Then we set off for my sister Melanie's house in Woodstock, VA.  Traffic was surprisingly placid so we arrived in record time.  Actually we arrived almost exactly at 11:00 and pulled up in front at the same time as my Aunt Marianne who drove from Lynchburg.   My sister Melanie is THE party planner in our family.  Her house is always festively decorated and her bathroom always has fancy towels, soaps and smelly candles.  I'm always impressed! Her husband, Doug, who is 11 feet tall and generally dressed like a thin Paul Bunyan, was busy in the kitchen fussing over the turkey and a half dozen other pots and pans emitting delicious smells. Her two adorable children : Amy and Christopher who always have energy and joy coming out of their ears were bouncing around my boys before they could e...

 Today was a BIG medicine day.  Lucy, Ethel, Fred and Ricky.  I was at the Infusion Center from 10 - 3 and then I met with the NP in Oncology for about an hour.  Overall the day was uneventful.  My port took a few tries to access but that is becoming the norm. I'm used to it.  My infusion went fine. My nurse was Alison again. I had a nice corner room of my own. There wasn't much on television so I took a nap and played on my phone.  I enjoy the quiet.   The NP told me that my numbers are great! Apparently there are "Normal Good" and "Chemo good" but MINE are "NORMAL GOOD" so she told me to keep doing whatever I'm doing. Now I just have to figure out whatever I've been doing right. 

 The lobby here at the Residence Inn is about 5 degrees too cold for my liking and my black cardigan is far too thin.  Jenny recently gifted me a thick hooded one but I'm afraid it got lost in the "laundry land" that is our basement. I shall make an effort to locate it before my shift on Friday.  Today is my Sweet Jimmy's 5th birthday! He has become such a powerhouse of personality! He fears nothing. He will hug or tackle anyone without hesitation. He treats every new environment or situation as an opportunity to make new friends. He likes to mimic lines he hears from the TV with the same inflection until he gets it right. ("A few moments later" in a French accent is his current favorite.) IF you don't laugh at something he thinks is funny he will explain it to you til you concede. He loves watching football with Daddy. He doesn't understand it but he will yell "Go Commanders" or "Go Irish" til Dad lets out a whoop telling him his...

 We have had the most incredible outpouring of love and generosity and support, quite literally dumped on us in the last month! It has been unexpected and incredibly humbling.  I really need to take a few moments to send some shout outs to some amazing people.   Please note that these are in no particular order To Matt's incredible team at Chantilly High School : I cannot thank you enough.  And to think that none of you have ever met me -- I am speechless.  I mean I know that my husband is loveable but I can't tell you how much it means to me that you all appreciate him as much as you must to be taking such good care of our family.  Not only have you been BEYOND understanding about his needs at work but also the hundreds of dollars worth of gift cards and gifts you sent (our boys love the Dancing Jesus, by the way), the books are exactly my style and the notes made Matt and I both cry.  Thank you so much! OH and the meals!! We appreciate them so m...